FOREWORD
by Stephanie Kuhns, sister
Never during your alcoholism
did I ever take it seriously enough. I'd like to pass on to
anyone reading your book... that just because you still love
an alcoholic, and just because you still enjoy talking to your
alcoholic even when they are drunk (and you end up hanging up
on them because they won't remember anyway), does not mean that
that individual isn't near death! Our brother, Kevin, knew from
the very beginning that you were going to die if you didn't
stop drinking to excess. He also knew that any drinking would
always lead to excessive drinking; That you cannot have just
a bit, just tonight, ever. Someone else's story touched Kevin
to the point that he pushed me into getting involved with you.
I realized you were near death when you flew into Tampa, and
I picked you up at curbside, with my kids in the back seat.
I took one look at you walking up to the car and realized that
you looked exactly like our father, on his deathbed, in the
hospital who had died ten years prior from alcoholism. If you
recall, we went to see him in Cleveland, and went back to Grandpa's
house. We went home to Indiana, and Dad died within a week of
multiple organ failure. I could also see that you were so severely
depressed, yet physically couldn't break free from the chemical
dependency, despite your true intentions and desires to do so.
You came home to see me,
so I could see what was going on. You didn't necessarily do
it intentionally, but you knew somewhere inside of you that
you had to do it. You knew I would care and help.
The worst part of it all was
that even though I didn't want to see this day to day destruction
of your life, I also didn't want you close enough to have to
care. I wanted to care, but with two small children, I didn't
have the luxury of being able to care.
I do thank God that He put
Joseph into our lives. If not for Joseph working with Kevin
and I, you would have never started your road to recovery. I
truly believe that with no one near you to care, you would have
sunk even lower. You would have made it home eventually, but
would there have been time to save you?
After your visit, I called
Kevin and Jon within a few weeks (you got arrested again). That
was pivotal. Had you not come home, and I hadn't seen your physical
status, I would have never called our brothers. I don't know
why or when, but sometime during the few weeks after your trip
here, I called you and you gave the phone to Joseph. That was
pivotal as well. Had he not talked to me then, I don't know
where we would be today. I went out on a limb to ask for his
help, not knowing him, and he accepted against his better judgment.
He knew you would not give in easily, and you'd perceive that
working with your family was in essence going behind your back.
Yet, Joseph had the courage to do it anyway. He saw in you what
we all knew was there, but it must have been next to impossible
for him to really believe you had it in you, considering the
way you were living.
I love you, Karen. Give yourself
credit for what you did. You are an enormously strong individual.
You have always been driven and successful.
The truth is hard to tell
and even harder to see in person as I did. I watched you torment
yourself for at least 2-3 years. I think the real story of Karen
will make anyone who knows you cry to know what you went through.
I know there is a really moving story in these pages. I am just
afraid to read it.
Love,
Steph
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